I only think of you late at night or in the early morning hours, when the chemicals line up just right I never had to lie to you, it wasn't our way I'm not lying now, just leaving words out but the things we didnt mention made the floorboards crack with weight it seems the things we didn't mention made us walk our separate ways. I couldn't be as vague as I needed anymore so I kept my mouth shut and let my thoughts flow back and forth but the things we didnt mention made the floorboards crack with weight it seems the things we didn't mention made us walk our separate ways. so tell me how you feel so we don't have to wait because of things we couldn't bring our tongues to say I had to wash the sickness off and wash away my second thoughts because you don't deserve the first three tries and they're never be a fourth and if I ever see you smile, I'll know it's for someone else. We don't deserve to be happy with ourselves. Rip me apart like termites, if you get bored.

You told me to stay, you told me to not give myself away so easy. You told me to stay, but i'm bad at listening I only need you when you give up needing me. When you give up needing me, I'll begin my pleading, please. Don't turn this back on me, I thought we were above this type of thing, These petty power trips, come back I swear I didn't mean- to push you past control and make you rip yourself from me. (I was never listening) You told me to stay, Told me to not give myself away so easy. Told me to stay, But i'm bad at listening. I wish I couldn't rationalize, the things that I do wrong, and make them seem so small. I wish I wasn't lying when I said, "i'll do better," I don't think I can. Don't tell anyone we talked tonight because it was not for as long as I would have liked. It shouldn't still be comfortable, for you to jump back through my ears but you're exactly what i always want to hear. I push my fingers into my head, and press until your voice stops- I'll never get back the time i spent in that parking lot. My brain shuts down against it's current state. Too many hours on my eyelids, and they're losing to this weight. It's just a dream but I hold you shirtless, perfect, as you tell me you were never taught what worth is. I found what I love, and I'll let it kill me. Repeated: Tell me you're out, tell me it pays to hate myself. Make me give a shit, make me answer for the months you waited around.